All things must come to an end… but does it really have to? What I wouldn’t have given to freeze frame time and just kept circling the CCaRibbean with everyone! It all was starting to sink in what I was going to have to deal with when I get back home and if I could have come up with a logical excuse I may have tried to stow away on that ship and got off in Cayman. Of course that’s illegal… and stupid… and wouldn’t have solved any of my problems. Oh what was it you ask? Did I mention I lost my job two days before the cruise? Yeah, that was kind of neat. So basically coming back from any vacation is going to have a mourning period soon after, but throw in the fact that I was going back jobless and not sure how I was going to pay rent made it that much harder to get off the ship.
That’s a lie; that ship was hard enough to get off. And we thought getting on was hard! We were among the dumb asses who took the advice of checking our luggage the night before so we wouldn’t have to deal with it in the morning. BAD IDEA! That only means you are the last to leave the ship… and we were on the cheap lower deck so we really were the last. So we get up at the butt crack of dawn, tired and hung over, ready to eat and leave… we may have finally stepped foot off the ship by 11 I think. You can’t leave until your level or color or whatever is called so we sat in the lido deck waiting for our bingo.

“B 42”
“Bingo! Lets roll”

WAIT- I finally saw some dolphins while we were waiting by the window! Can you believe that?! I have never seen a dolphin in my life and I go to three different countries only to see several the morning I get back in Texas! Weird huh? Kathleen got to see a hammerhead shark on the first or second night, so I had high hopes… but then again that’s what I love about Texas!

So start the line standing process. This really long one, now this one, get run over by some crazy old couple, now get ready for customs.

“Do you have your sheet filled out ma’am?”
“Huh? What sheet? I don’t know about a sheet. Can I please come back to Texas?”
‘Lucky for you I have a sheet.”

Still don’t know what that lady was talking about. But I’m back so I did something right I guess. Low cut shirts never hurt anyone. Kidding! Sort of…

Anyway last line and we can get on the shuttle to take us back to the car! Aw there she is just sitting alone waiting to be driven! I tell you a week of not driving anywhere is hard to readjust to… and I didn’t even drive! By the way, this is where is swaying starts. Not a “someone who rhymes with Larry” drunk type of swaying, but the swaying that you do when you get out of the lazy river for the next hour. But this lasted through at least 2 weeks… I know Pirates of the Caribbean 2 seriously made me seasick almost the whole time. And NO in case you are wondering it wasn’t just me so put away your jokes now… I had Tab saying the same thing, along with a few members of RK… so there!

So we start making our way out of Galveston when my roommate called to let me know she had moved out while I was gone. BAM! That may have been my breaking point… it’s a good thing I had Tabitha with me, because she knows exactly how to calm me down and cheer me up. Times like these you realize who your friends are and how far they’ll go with you! So the car ride home was fun… but at least we had some funny stories and memories to keep us company! After the mini melt down we probably giggled the whole way home just reliving the week… And you know after the fact and after everything that happened around the trip, looking back I wouldn’t have changed one thing! That week was the best and happiest week of my life and nothing can take away from any of the experiences, friends we made, and the amazing time we had! It’s odd to look around after this and notice how many friends I have made just from going to shows and going on the cruise, and we really are all like a family! Its so cool to know that I have people from all over that have my back just because we have a common interest! It’s beautiful! Love you guys!

Ok I’m done being a girl, back to making funny jokes…

With my experiences on the cruise we learned several things that I will always take with me:

1. No matter how drunk you are, there’s always someone a little more drunk sitting on the bar.
2. It’s never too early to stop drinking, however for some middle aged hairy men it may be too early to start drinking.
3. It’s not polite to kill every towel animal you see, Tabitha!
4. That life vest class isn’t that important. You’re going down one way or another if you think about it. Didn’t you see Titanic?
5. Just because its soft serve ice cream, it’s not always going to be good.
6. A hamburger is good in almost any country.
7. If you don’t give Winston at least $1,000 tip he will hunt you down in America.
8. Don’t listen to the drunk girl the night before telling you that it’s easier to check your bags before you head out that night.
9. First impressions are everything, Aquaman.
10. This year I am signing up for the Jimmy excursion.
11. There are probably 25-30 “walks of shame” every morning, housekeeping is used to it by now.
12. Chances are, though, you’ll take the furthest elevator from your room.
13. Don’t swim in the green pool… there’s a sign that validates my point.
14. Pina Coladas at noon hinders your ability to read signs that warn you of harsh chemicals in green pools.
15. Sunscreen is your best friend in JAMaica. Next to Winston of course.
16. Well and pot, too.
17. Pizza is always a good idea.
18. Take jager when Cody Canada hands it to you.
19. It’s ok if you miss Cheaper By The Dozen 2, it’ll be on every hour on the hour.
20. Those contests they run everyday mean that you’ll likely be embarrassed. If not right then, when you see yourself on the room TV’s all week.
21. Starting off any night with Jose and Jack make for a good time.
22. Carmen loves Jose and Jack both… well any man for that matter.
23. Wade Bowen makes one hell of a fat man.
24. Kids get on my nerves on vacation.
25. While it may seem like a good idea, there’s no reason to exercise while on vacation. YOU’RE ON VACATION.
26. There is such a thing as a vacation fling… or two.
27. We’ve all got a little Carmen in us. Don’t make me say the rest of that quote.
28. Rolling your t-shirts and underwear up with rubber bands saves room for a case of beer.
29. If you plan on sneaking in tequila in your luggage, remember they keep that stuff outside in the 90-degree heat… not too smart to take a shot when you first get into your room.
30. Pink umbrellas beat yellow umbrellas when you race them off the ship.
31. If you hang out with rock stars, be prepared to party like them.
32. It’s easy to drink $500 when you have a handy little swipe card instead of cash.
33. The flag bracelets were way cooler than the yellow ones.
34. A Carney Man isn’t as cool as a Carney Mon.
35. If you play the Stoney Larue game, you will likely be drunk a lot faster.
36. Don’t mess with a Cross fan’s music.
37. Just because you know the 80’s sitcom theme song, it’s not always in your best interest to shout it out at Senor Frogs.
38. Don’t eat the popcorn in the dog bowls.
39. Travel through JAMaica in groups… of 50.
40. There’s a KFC and Hardrock Café in every country.
41. The initial line is the good one. “This” line means you have the look and you have to open your towel. “That” line means you have to lift your own junk.
42. It’s easier to claim memory loss that to explain what really happened.
43. There’s way more to baseball than you know. It involves “throwing, running, and catching.”
44. Robes are hot.
45. Tab is way fun when she drinks crown!
46. Don’t fall asleep anywhere other than your… ok, a bed.
47. Pirates are “badass”
48. That’s 5 drinks bitches!
49. Remember to watch your step coming up to the back deck from the pizza bar.
50. Start any trip off splitting tequila shots with your favorite band and the rest is history!

There you have it guys. *Tear* Its over… now its time to start getting money back together for this year’s… whose coming?